the hart family.

please remember vanessa, jason, jaycie and brock.

you can read their story here.

it's a shocking thing to read your friend's words as she asks for prayer for her dying son. and to hear her say that because of her faith in Christ, that even if brock does not live they will still be okay.

but oh Lord, that you might show Your face. that You might remove Your hand from the folds of Your garments and perform a miracle. as vanessa and jay gaze into the fire, that they might see Your face and behold Your glory.

that we all, even as we gaze into our own fires, see Your face there. guarding us from the flames. shining bright in the middle of the furnace.


thank you darlings for how you never fail to encourage, to pray, to share your hearts as we all find our way through it all.

mr. darling has an interview on monday.
if you remember, please join us in pleading for God to move.
to provide.
to hear our prayers and answer.

thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

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oh, wow.

two posts in one day?
lucky you, lucky me.


mr. darling went hunting today at my parents ranch. he texted me saying he was sitting on the ground by a tree in the timber and apparently a herd (a flock? a swarm?) of deer wandered up around him. apparently they did not notice him and decided to lay down under the cover of the trees and rest. so, mr. darling was trapped. i'm still not sure how he got out of there...something about crawling up a hill. i'm not sure, i was laughing too hard to understand him completely.






but the big news? oh wow.


have you met karey m.? she writes mackin ink and t.ruffle girls.
her writing...it's stunning. it's the sort of writing that makes you giggle.
it's all warm sunshine on a january morning and beautiful words that paint forever in your mind.

and then? today she commented on my blog. MY. BLOG. i might have squealed so loudly i scared allie darling.






i don't think i ever shared a marathon picture with you from back in april. my mom took this at the finish line. there are several more where uncle john boy and i pose. both of us lacking gross motor skills but definately having an abundance of caked salt and snot on our faces. i'll spare you those photos. i am the one with blonde hair, bright yellow shirt and tiny shorts. back before my weight watcher days. (does anyone else gain weight while training for a race? if so, let's start a support group, mmkay? we'll meet for ice cream and comiserate.) speaking of which, back on the ww train come friday.





and this is one of my favorites of mr. darling and i. it was taken a couple of summers ago at an outdoor concert for snow patrol. lucky for us, neither of us have really aged. it's strange. the other day someone asked me what classes i was taking this semester. when i told them i graduated college 5.5 years ago they thought i was lying. here's my question...WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT BEING OLDER?? i mean, once you're past 21, it's sort of fruitless...you know?



anyways, i read this quote tonight..."the night we met my mouth said, 'nice to meet you.' and my heart said, 'oh, i've found you.'" (author unknown)


i smiled because the night mr. darling and i met (re-met? we were acquaintances in college but never really talked.) i felt that exact way. as though something was missing and then one night at a halloween bonfire by the lake i found it. mr. darling said he loved me even before then. i say he's a smooth talker and full of it. but sweet, nonetheless.




the photos of allie darling and i were taken early this summer. by myself. while in the floor and bribing allie darling to pose for me with treats of cut up grape tomatoes. tomatoes are her favorite, she's such a freak. but then again i was taking self-portraits of myself and my dog...so maybe i'm the freak and allie darling is all, "you humans...so weird."

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so, tomorrow is thanksgiving.

did you hear that thanksgiving is tomorrow? apparently it is.

we are running in the local turkey trot bright and early tomorrow morning.

and by "we", i mean...uncle john boy, sister darling, and cousins darling. and myself. it's our new tradition.

mr. darling and decided to "divide and conquer" tomorrow. and by "mr. darling and i decided", i really mean i convinced him it was a good idea.

you see, normally the holidays are...painful for us. long. tiring. exhausting. and ridiculous. usually we go to my extended families for lunch (they live 40 minutes north) and then drive nearly 1.5 hours south to mr. darling's extended family for supper.

it's a long day. we are tired, cranky...there is bickering and not a lot of giving thanks.

so this year i had the brilliant idea to divide and conquer, since mr. darling's family is having their meal at lunch. so he will be there with his family, i will make an appearance at mine and that evening we will meet up for our own thanksgiving celebration.

and by "thanksgiving celebration" i mean we will order pizza, drink tequila and put up the tree while watching the griswald's christmas vacation movie.

sounds perfect, yes?

perfect to me, at least.

like i told mr. darling, it's just thanksgiving. it's not christmas, it's not the celebration of the birth of the Christ child. it just seems easier this way. and while someday, when we have tiny baby darlings, we will choose to do things much differently, right now it feels okay. it makes everyone happy (except for us) and at the end of the evening we get to do what we really want to do...be at home together. just us.

clearly i am not a fan of these forced family functions.

i think it's beyond ridiculous to spend a day miserable with people you only see twice a year, you don't even speak. but you have to be there out of obligation.

the other day sister darling and i were talking and both of us agreed on our two favorite holiday celebrations. thanksgiving was the year of an ice storm, we stayed home and ate a meal as a family around our supper table. we were so young and still living in the country and i remember looking out the front door as my dad prayed and seeing our reflection in the glass. and being so very happy and peaceful.

our favorite christmas was the year it snowed too much for anyone to get out. so we stayed home and sledded and enjoyed our new presents. there was a fire in the fireplace and it was a lazy day. that is, by far, my coziest childhood memory.

i hate that holidays are so rushed these days. what should be a special day of peace and celebration is now a rushed blur and family obligations and stiff conversation.

my hope is when we have children it won't be this way anymore. we'll spend the day with my family and celebrate it together. relaxed and full of joy.

but for now it's this way, and that's okay too. because i have friends who will celebrate tomorrow with no family, with sick children, with a heart full of worry. and that makes my heart ache.

so, if you are alone tomorrow...swing on by the darling's. we'll be the ones eating pizza and watching stupid christmas movies.

you are always welcome in our home.

i'll be thinking of you, praying for you and loving you from far away. okay? okay.

i pray all of you have the happiest of thanksgivings tomorrow.

and this year? this year i am thankful for you.

pictures are from here and here. i really dislike all thanksgiving food, except for green bean casserole and fudge. and i really don't even like cupcakes. but frosting? oh man, i wish my entire holiday meal would just be a gigantic bowl of frosting.

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race photos...yikes.

you can find my one good race photo here.

the rest? ugh, they are just frightening. i ran out of time to tan before we left for tulsa so i am disturbingly pale...like vampire girl pale. plus the pixie cut, while cute in normal life, makes me look bald when i wear a hat.

also, it has been determined that when i run i take deeply strange and disturbing photos. i look like i am trying to pass a kidney stone...or birth a hippo. or, you know, run a whole lot of miles at one time until my toenails fall off.

so, enjoy.

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part two.

i was surprised by my tears as i finished the race.

i know it's not a lot...just a silly race and a silly goal i worked for quietly.
but to me? to me it meant the world.

i had all these things i wanted to share with you. what it was like to train through the most intense and heartbreaking seven months of my life. tell you how running has been theraputic and a release for me.

i wanted to tell you how this was the hardest race i have ever run.

but this morning i realize i don't care to put all that into words right now. maybe later, just not today. maybe i'm tired of talking about, most likely i'm tired of thinking about how everything has turned out achingly different than we ever hoped or planned.

mostly i just wanted to share with you something i read the other day...

if You call us to the fire, You will not withdraw Your Hand.

we will gaze into the flames and look for You.

the quote is from a beth moore devotional.the pictures are from a website i forgot to write down the name of, i found them a few weeks ago and the words painted across the images made me cry. you can find part one of the half marathon story here. it's much more interesting than part two. i will share pictures as soon as they are posted.

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a half-marathon epic saga: part one.

it was the sort of weekend we hoped for.

the sort of weekend you need as you muddle your way through the hard places of life. so, mama darling, sister darling and i took off on saturday morning and made our way to tulsa.

we met uncle john boy at the race expo, sister darling was filmed for the expo website, i downgraded to a half marathon (13.1 miles) and we loaded up on free goodies.

then we headed to the mall where i may have had a mild panic attack due to the crowds, shopped and stared at all the freaks (and there were a lot).

on to the hotel. we stayed at mayo hotel. it was beyond beautiful. we hung out at the hotel with john boy, aunt darling and cousin darling then headed to supper. well, most of us. sister darling had other very exciting plans.

i did not sleep much at all that night. i dreamed i overslept and missed the race, my eyes flew open and in relief saw 4:00 a.m. glaring back at me from the clock. i stayed awake after that...just to be sure, you know?

at 5:30, i got up and got dressed, made our breakfast sandwiches (cinnamon raisin bread, peanut butter and banana) and met uncle john boy in the lobby. he devoured his sandwich while i choked down half of mine and stopped. my stomach was full of butterflies.

a shuttle took us to the starting line a full hour before it began. it was cold (in the 40's) but our nerves kept us warm. finally it was time to begin. we were stuffed into the starting corral (like cattle), it was the sort of crowded that caused john boy to lose me even those i was standing next to him.

the national anthem was sang. runners, take your marks. the starting gun went off, fireworks exploded and confetti went everywhere. best start to a race EVER.

the race.

the first 6 miles, we were warned, were "rolling hills". they were absolutely not kidding. it was constant rolling hills. so, i had a plan...push myself those first 6 miles. get the hills over with, allow the adrenaline to carry me a little faster than i planned and deal with the next 7 miles as they came. i knew the last 7 would be more flat so it would be easier to work at it.

the rolling hills. oh freaking heck, it was bad. but i never walked and i was so glad about that. i shortened my stride and kept at it. very different for this oklahoma girl, our area of the state has few hills. you can usually see for miles with no problem.

i ran through the first few water stops and drank gatorade. then realized: bad idea. i did not train with gatorade and it was starting to upset my stomach. and when i try to drink from a cup and run i get choked. so, from then on out i drank only water and walked through the stops.

my first 6 miles were completed in under 57 minutes. i was stoked. like, almost giddy. you see, privately i set the goal to run this race in 2 hours, 10 minutes. about a 10 minute per mile pace. doable but difficult.

so, the next half. sure, far fewer hills but the we shifted and instead of running on asphalt it became crappy concrete. and oh my word, hills plus concrete is a recipe for a cramping disaster. it was beyond ridiculous. concrete is such a terrible running surface, there is no give at all.

i took a chocolate gu at mile 6 and felt a lot better. i was starting to get weak and my legs were beginning to feel unattached to my body. my blood sugar was bottoming out.

i did fine until around mile 10. and then it hit me...i was tired and my legs were exhausted. pushing myself so hard on the hills (while never training with hills AT ALL) took it out of me a lot.

i kept telling myself...dig deep. you can do this, you own this.

the last mile my stomach was cramping pretty bad. like…taking away my breath sort of cramping. i had to stop once or twice to try and breathe. then the last half mile i pushed myself, not caring whether i could breathe or not.

i rounded the corner and saw the finish line and took off. then i heard my mom and sister darling yelling and saw them cheering. then the tears began to fill my throat.

i felt like i was flying. and the tears were making it so hard to breathe. but it was so worth it. it felt like such a huge accomplishment to cross that line and see the time on my garmin watch...

2 hours, 7 minutes and 43 seconds.

i did it.

photos from here and here.

part two will arrive later today. but for now i need to work on descending two flights of stairs to get to the bathroom...and that might take awhile considering how sore my legs are. maybe i'll just use the restroom in my pants. no wait, i don't do that. but i definately saw a woman in the race who did and it was just as disturbing as you might imagine it would be.

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sparkling weekend.

sat through a 3.5 hour meeting this morning with not one break.
there was a point where i literally lost the very will to live.


apparently a lady, down the street from my work, was accosted this morning by a man in a security uniform. i am assuming "accosted" means beaten up and/or raped. so, you know...i'll be sprinting like an olympic gold medalist to my car from now on.






last night we had the windows and balcony door open to let the fresh air inside. allie darling was asleep in my lap when all of a sudden a pack of coyotes started howling in the field behind our apartment. allie flew out of my lap growling and ran out on the balcony. then for the next hour she sat between the balcony door and i, constantly growling and barking.

i couldn't help but laugh. she weighs 10 lbs soaking wet and looks like a dandelion puff. what did she think she was going to do if those coyotes scaled the wall and climbed onto our balcony?

the best part was mr. darling howling at her every few minutes. and by "best part", i mean most annoying part. between her growls, mr. darling howling and the coyotes (after the day i had) i wanted to swallow half a bottle of tylenol and chase it with tequila.





we leave tomorrow (yay!) and i have big plans to not use my brain all weekend.
hope your weekends are just as beautiful.

i always tell sister darling to aim for the moon and land among the stars. which sounds poetic and beautiful but in reality translates to mean if you aim high enough you won't be so disappointed with mediocrity.

of course we also joke that elton john's anti-drug (remember those commercials, what's your anti-drug? and the kid would be like football! and apparently football is what keeps him from smoking crack.) is sparkly sunglasses, rockin' the piano and boy wieners.

so, there's that.
happy weekending.




don't you just love sparkly things? last night i told mr. darling if i were a fairy my wings would be gigantic, hot pink and sparkly. he smiled and told me i was pretty, which is code for: CRAZY. but he humors me and at the end of the day, is there really anything more romantic than that? a man who humors your crazy and still finds you beautiful. pictures are from here. and mr. darling? he's straight from pocasset. and from God.

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