2011. in review.

january.
we find out our child is a baby girl.

we close on our house and become homeowners for the first time. we start painting our new home and i begin to pack up our sweet apartment, the place we called home for nearly three years.

february.
we decide on a name for our daughter; ruth dahlia. it is lovely and perfect. we say it over and over for days and laugh because we are so excited we can hardly stand it. our girl has a name.

we move into our home. on the first night the ceiling collapses in the kitchen due to the back patio being installed incorrectly, leaving a gap open to the elements into the attic and snow blowing in during a blizzard the week before. both of us have meltdowns that night.

march.
spring arrives and finds me nesting like a mad woman.
i turn 30.

april.
my sister throws me the most lovely baby shower. i am hugely, puffy pregnant.

we celebrate easter. i fall on my face in gratitude.

may.
i am so big i almost explode. on the day ruth is born tornados rip through our state and miss destroying my parents' home by 1/4 of a mile. ruth is born while tornado sirens scream outside the hospital.

ruth arrives after 23 hours of unmedicated labor. our lives are forever changed.

i fall madly in love instantly.

june.
we learn to be parents. my mom stays with us for a week. i sob for a full hour after she leaves. we say goodbye to mimi. ruth, allie and i stay with my parents for a week while mr. darling is on a business trip in louisiana. mr. darling celebrates his very first father's day. we go to church for the first time as a family. i believe i may never sleep again.

july.
a wildfire rips across my parents' land and nearly destroys their home.  we are in the middle of the hottest summer on record. ever. we go on many late evening walks during ruth's cranky time of the day.

august.
mr. darling turns 32. it is unbelievably hot outside and it seems like the heat will never end. ruth rolls over for the first time.

september.
having a baby has finally become normal to me. i once heard the first three months of a baby's life you just aim to survive and get through it. that is very true. ruth moves past the newborn stage into the baby stage. she interacts more with us, giggles and captures our hearts over and over every single day.

october.
it finally rains. earthquake. halloween. teething. i consume lots of candy.

november.
thanksgiving. i cry at the table as my dad says our thanksgiving prayer. my tears drip onto the tablecloth as i am surrounded by the people i love most in this world.

december.
ruth's first christmas. i cry again during the prayer on christmas day. my cup is so full it spills over and forms another ocean.

i have tried, over and over tonight, to decide on one word that would describe this past year of my life. but there is not just one word. it was difficult, painful, exhausting, life-altering, full of grace, full of mercy, achingly beautiful. God is so faithful to us. He continually proved that over and over this year. day by day. moment by moment. and tonight, as 2011 comes to end, my hands will tremble as i kneel to the ground and lift them high to the sky. praising His name. and praying for the year to come.


be near us, O Lord. we desperately need You.